(Originally titled “Coaching Through Conflict”)
“If educators are to have the kinds of conversations necessary to meet the needs of every child,” says Elena Aguilar (Bright Morning) in Educational Leadership, “then we’re going to have to learn how to navigate conflict.” Not angry, personalized, win/lose conflict, but healthy exchanges where colleagues wrestle with ideas, ask questions, demonstrate curiosity, change their minds, and keep students at the center.
How can we build the skills necessary for productive conflict? One way, says Aguilar, is using sentence stems that lead the conversation in the right direction. Some examples:
- Can you elaborate on your thinking, because I’m not sure I understand?
- I have some concerns about that suggestion. Could you explain it more?
- I want to push back on that idea. I’ve noticed ___ and would like to suggest ___.
- I hear what you’re saying, but have you considered ___?
- Can you help me understand why you believe that? My experience has led me to a different conclusion, but I want to understand your perspective.
- I disagree with you about that, but I want to hear your thoughts.
- It would help me get behind that idea if I could hear more about ___.
- I agree with several points you made, but I want to challenge you on this idea.
- I have a request to make. Are you open to hearing it?
Please Note: This summary is reprinted with permission from issue #1056 of The Marshall Memo, an excellent resource for educators.
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