In
this article in Psychology Today,
science writer Jena Pincott lists correctives for some common cognitive biases
(inborn and acquired):
•
Understand that not everything that
happens to you is about you. “At the very least, the egocentric bias causes
us to misread others,” says Pincott. “It undermines empathy and tolerance. It
also traps us in a bubble; we waste vast amounts of psychic energy recovering
from insults that were never targeted at us in the first place. To live a life
that is less reactive, more directed, it is necessary to put the ego in its
place.”
•
Worry less about what others think of you.
It turns out that people are much less aware of our competence, awkwardness,
verbal flubs, facial expressions, even what we wear, than we imagine. “When we
care less about our curated self-image, we open the door to interacting more
genuinely,” says Pincott. “We can let down our guard. Others may respond in
kind, focusing less on their own self-image and opening up.”
•
Realize that you don’t have to act the
way you feel. Pincott advises “self-distancing” to keep disappointments and
negative emotions from spilling into everyday interactions. This involves
processing our feelings from an outsider’s point of view, addressing ourselves
in the third person to normalize and make meaning of disturbing experiences.
This makes it possible to preserve our dignity, privacy, and self-respect when
we’re not at our best.
•
Reframe and manage disappointment and
adversity. “There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so,” said
Hamlet. Social psychologists have confirmed Shakespeare’s wisdom, showing that
although there are differences in people’s innate ability to handle stressful
events, mental fortitude can be acquired. This means learning how not to jump to
conclusions, overgeneralize, catastrophize, personalize, and engage in
black-or-white thinking. “Resilient people do not define themselves by their
adversity,” says Pincott. “They understand that bad times are temporary
affairs.”
•
Solicit honest feedback. It’s
possible to be internally self-aware (in touch with our own values and
passions) and not externally self-aware (knowing how others see us). “External
self-awareness allows us to be more in sync with others,” says Pincott. “It
makes us more effective leaders because we have more empathy, which comes from
understanding other people’s perspectives.” She advises identifying several
“critical friends” and periodically asking them questions like, What am I doing that I should keep doing?
What should I stop doing? What about me annoys you?
•
Stay true to your own values despite what
others expect. There’s sometimes a tug-of-war between what we want and what
others expect – parents, teachers, love partners. “People high in both internal
and external self-awareness can navigate competing expectations,” says
organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich. They value authenticity and
integrity, knowing what they want to do and illuminating it with other
perspectives.
•
Be open to revising your thinking.
“The world doesn’t stand still,” says Pincott. “Situations change. Available
information changes. However much we get emotionally attached to our own
decisions, however much our opinions and perspectives may have once served us,
there comes a point at which constancy can curdle into rigidity.” Studies show
that we’re most open to change when we’re feeling good about ourselves, most
resistant to change when we feel threatened and uncertain. Hanging out with a
four-year-old is a good way to see what cognitive flexibility looks like.
•
Find ways to tackle tasks you want to
avoid. Pincott suggests several approaches: write down how the drudgery
will end with a success; gamify the activity, introducing an element of
competition; use second-person self-talk (You
can crush this, Ted!); bite off a small piece to get started (Just 20 minutes on this and I’ll do
something else); and get into a routine (for example, rising at six to
exercise).
•
Zone in on your purpose in a zoned-out
world. “The two most important days in life are the day you are born and
the day you discover the reason why,” said Mark Twain. But a sense of
big-picture purpose depends on focus and self-regulation, and that’s undermined
by the current obsession with checking social media every few minutes, driven
by the fear of missing out on something. “You may want big ideas,” says author
Larry Rosen, “but if your attention is jerked away constantly, they won’t come.
There’s no time to process anything on a deeper level.” There isn’t even time
for the overstimulated brain to daydream. Rosen strongly recommends 30-minute
tech breaks. Turning away from the small screen, he says, can reorient us to
the big picture.
•
Tolerate ambiguity. Uncertainty is a
“sure-fire fuel of anxiety,” says Pincott, but it’s part of modern life, and
dealing with it has many rewards. “We’re more able to shift gears, experiment,
be more flexible, take in new information that we’d otherwise reject, and let a
situation develop before pulling the proverbial trigger,” she says. “We’re better
able to handle risk and to make decisions without deluding ourselves into
thinking we know everything there is to know. In the end, we’re less anxious.”
Studies have shown that one way to make yourself more flexible in uncertain
situations is to read fiction. “When nothing is sure,” says novelist Margaret
Drabble, “everything is possible.”
Please Note: This summary is reprinted here with permission. It appeared in issue #734 of The Marshall Memo a fabulous resource for educators.
No comments:
Post a Comment